Monday, February 9, 2009

World Report: Broken Bones & Trife Beards

One of my Super Friends busted up his wrist yesterday skateboarding down Mission.  I wish you a speedy, healthy recovery and would expect nothing less from an ox of a man like yourself. Remember, you just broke your wrist not your spirit, stay buck.  Here's to healthy bones and free painkillers.

The bone formerly known as Karl's healthy wrist.

In other completely unrelated news, I am one month deep into my annual beard growing saga.  So far this year is shaping up fairly well and looks to be an improvement on last years record setting performance.  This year my beard has several factors working in it's favor to make this year another record shattering spectacle.  First and foremost, I don't give a fuck. I have vowed complete commitment and have no self conscious thought about growing at all.  Last year I was a little taciturn and didn't really fully commit to the endevour, perhaps a little bit too self conscious about my lackluster facial hair.  Last year I set a goal of 8 weeks of full on growth.  I believe I made it about 6-7 weeks with several trims inbetween.  This year I have no goal in sight, I simply exist to grow.  No trims, as I simply do not have beard trimming equipment at my immediate disposal.  I really believe that there are no limits to this beard and could foresee it's continued growth for 3 maybe four months... who knows really.  Anyway, hear are some photos, as a few of my regular readers have privately expressed interest in this years beardathon.  No Fear.

Four weeks deep.

Patchy, yes, true.  That's just my style.

Current beard inspirations include my good friend Rick Delucco, Bears (The gay kind), Lumberjacks, Dennis Wilson, and Thelonius Monk.  Really though, I would be happy with a Keanu Reeves level of patchiness. 

Ideally, and I think this may be within the realm of possibilities, I would like to sport a V. Gallo level beard, circa the photo below:

I don't expect you to understand, Lilly.

To my Portland readers:  It has just been brought to my attention that Three 6 Mafia played a show recently at the Roseland.  Did any of you attend or know anyone who did.  Let me know the scooped if you've scooped it.

Alright folks, that's all the news worth knowing.  Let me know what you think about the beard good, bad, indifferent, I'm feeling unflappable, so don't hold back.  Again, Karl godspeed.  All us here at the Shame Threshold (Me) wish you the best.  Can't keep a tough customer down.


John said...

man, as someone who sometimes doesn't shave for a week or two at a time, just let me say thank your lucky stars that you at least have dark facial hair. Cause a patchy blonde beard is just in-excusable

lance said...

Very pretty.

Lily said...

Dude, Vince Gallo's schlong is still nightmare territory for me, but I gotta say, you're making greasy slimeball look damn good.

John said...

I would also strive to be most unlike Vincent Gallo as possible. That guy is a real creep.